Similarity
by Maurever
Summary: Beyond Birthday always knew he was similar to L, but he never expected a fictional character to hold up a mirror to his innermost secrets in the way this one did.  Fullmetal Alchemist referencing


_A/N: Nineteenth birthday gift-fic for my lovely sis FairMaiden333, because she's a crazy about Death Note and FMA as I am, and we both noticed the similarities between the character we created piecemeal for B and, well…_

_Disclaimer: no own, no sue. 'Kay?_

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><p>The sun splashed in uneven patches between tree limbs in the small, empty park as a young man sat down on the only bench. Dropping a plastic bag next to his feet, he sank back against the weathered wood with a weary sigh, stretching his arms above his head.<p>

It had been a long night, but he had faith that if he could sit down for a minute his early-morning buzz of energy would hit any minute. That should help him get back to his apartment, and he could tend to work until the tiredness hit again, at which point he looked forward to sleeping the rest of the day. Beyond Birthday scowled slightly, probing his eyelids. L and A had both been insomniacs, and with them as his closest friends - and one of them as his roommate - during his years at Wammy's House, he often felt as if he'd missed out on half the sleep of his childhood, and shouldn't be shortchanged now.

L and A. Pain began to twinge at the back of his lungs and he hastily sat up, digging into his bag for something to distract him from remembering. The slick covers of magazines at the bottom met his fingertips after a moment and he gave a sigh of relief, pulling out the latest issue of _Shonen Jump. _Manga usually helped distract him; glancing at the cover, he noted with interest that a new series had just been started. He flipped through the updates casually, speed-reading them until he got to the new one. _Alchemist of Steel… _odd name, but there was something about the fire in the kid's eyes as he looked up at B from the cover page that reminded him of something. Curious, he turned the page.

He froze. Ice raced through his veins as his eyes moved over the words again and again, breath hissing between dry lips.

What the hell… It had to be a coincidence, but that didn't matter because it was here, real as hell under his gaze, a choked, desperate scream marked on the paper as if with blood, and it all boiled down to two letters.

_Al!_

No matter that the full form was _Alphonse, _either, because the full form of the other had been _Allen, Alternate, Allen Howe _but Beyond could scarcely recall one of those names crossing his lips as a child; no, what he heard echoing in his mind's ears was a stupid nickname, over and over again, _Al what'cha doing, Al you should laugh more, Al don't be mad, Al what are you doing to yourself?, Al…_

And clearest of all he could remember his own scream.

"_Al? Damn it, no! Al! Don't do this to me, damn it, Allen don't you dare be dead! Al!"_

He wasn't even sure how he was able to make it home, to pursue the rest of the too-short chapter in private. He does know that he forgot his bag, but all the memory he really cares about is of hugging his knees tightly to his chest, shaking violently from the rush of remembered emotion as he disbelieving traces letters, turning two _Es _into a familiar double _B_, mouthing a line or two with an expression of shock on his face, touching his throat as if wondering whether the author had somehow read his mind, pulled the words from his lips while he wasn't looking.

_Loss and gain._

Sacrifice hope for revenge.

_Equivalent exchange._

Making L pay for A.

_Death and life._

The numbers and the names.

_Brothers._

Al. Oh, God, Al. He hadn't cried when he found A dead, he had screamed, he had raged against the House and L who had let this happen, he remembered keening softly as he rocked back and forth, cradling A's limp form. But now it was if a mirror was being held up to parts of his life, reflecting them back in a fantastical mirror, and after he re-read the elder boy's screams Beyond buried his face in his knees and cried, in long wracking sobs until he was shaking again.

It was mid-afternoon now, and B's eyelids felt like lead, but he looked through the chapter once more anyway.

"You and me, we're alike," he whispered to the golden-eyed child on the page. "Maybe even more than L and I. Except you - you live in a place where Death can be cheated. What would you have done if you couldn't save him, Edward Elric? Perhaps we would be even more similar."

And Alphonse. It was tearing open his emotional wounds, every sentence he read; not only was the name nerve-rackingly similar _(Al, how could anyone outside the House have possibly known what he called him) _but the kind shyness and polite mannerisms were his deceased friend's as well. Biting his lip painfully, the young man brushed his fingertips over the suit of armor on the page in something like a caress.

"And you'd know what it's like to love someone like that," he whispered softly, "little brother doesn't even begin to cover it, but that's the best words we have…"

He turned his gaze back to the challenging golden eyes of the main character, and smiled slightly.

"We're very alike."

_God hates us…_

Edward Elric and Beyond Birthday.

…_even if we died, he'd just send us back._

"More than anyone will ever know."

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><p><em>Fullmetal Alchemist translates more directly as 'Alchemist of Steel' and I figured B would be reading the original Japanese. Also, it began serialization in August 2001 - one year exactly before the LABB cases, so the timeline is accurate. <em>


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